How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows

French's Point Wedding Ceremony
Published August 15th, 2016

Many couples that get married at French’s Point Estate choose to write their own wedding vows. Writing personal wedding vows is a way to really customize your wedding and the experience you are creating for yourselves and your guests. Although it’s a great way to personalize your ceremony, it can be a daunting task. Here are some tips on how to write your own wedding vows:

Tips for Writing Personal Vows

Give yourself plenty of time. Writing meaningful wedding vows from the heart takes time, so start thinking about what you’re going to write well in advance of the wedding. Don’t wait until the night before!

Brainstorm adjectives and phrases that describe your love, your relationship, the marriage you hope to have, etc.

Write down significant adventures or experiences you two have shared together, especially if they were turning points in your relationship or if you both learned something from them. Integrate these into your vows.

Use the evolution of your relationship as a guide: start with when you met, how you fell in love, what it was like dating, how your relationship changed over time, when you decided to get married, what it will feel like on wedding day, and what you want for the future.

The more specific you can be, the more personalized the vows will feel. Answer questions like:

  • What was it that drew you to your sweetie the first time you met?
  • What is one thing your sweetheart does that just melts your heart?
  • What do you admire the most in your mate?
  • What is something you have learned from them?
  • What was the moment you knew you wanted to marry them?
  • What is your one hope for your future together?

Make commitments that are meaningful to your relationship. Some can be light and fun, like “I’ll always cut the crusts off your toast,” but make sure most of the promises you’re making are solemn and heartfelt.

No teasing. Keep the teasing of your soon-to-be spouse out of your vows. These comments can be funny to you, but they can also be seen as passive-aggressive, hurtful, and can set a negative tone that may make your sweetie and your guests feel uncomfortable.

Tips for Reading Your Wedding Vows

Practice. Practice. Practice. Read your vows out loud many times leading up to the wedding (making sure you’re out of earshot of your love). The more you practice, the less nervous you’ll be on wedding day.

If you’re going to be holding a microphone during the reading of the vows, then practice reading your vows while holding a mic (a hairbrush will do the trick!). As people get nervous the mic tends to drop and the sound quality diminishes.

Print your vows on a 4×6 index card in oversized font so they are easy to read and ask your officiant to put them in their book so you don’t have to worry about where they are before the wedding. You can even have them printed into a little bound book, which makes them even more special. The officiant will pass you the card or the vow book to read during the ceremony.

Read your vows from your heart. It’s ok if you mess up or have to repeat yourself, as long as your vows feel heartfelt and honest, it doesn’t really matter how they come out.

Good luck!

Photo by Rebecca Arthurs Photography